We are largely a product of the choices we make.  Things that we did when we were young have made other choices before us irrelevant or unavailable.  Also, certain other choices are only available to us because of those same choices.

For example:  I sometimes go to taverns alone and saddle up to the bar to talk to the bartender on duty.  There are times when this is all that happens; I have a conversation and sometimes a few drinks.

There are other times when people arrive and I also talk to them.   In certain cases,  those people really needed someone to listen and by making the choice to be there,  I made a difference in thier lives.  I know this because they gave me the feedback later when I saw them again.

And so,  I still go to taverns.   The downside of this is that I spend too much money sometimes.   But,  getting the real opportunity to help others *and* have fun with friends is worth almost any price.   For it is in these places that people with tough issues tend to hide or escape.  And for those of us with a Knight complex,  where we go to battle dragons and save the damsel in distress.

But other choices are more subtle.   Like not going to college. Or having a child at 16.  Not all of the choices you can no longer make are apparent to you when you make one of these  choices,  and they might never be.   There is a social stigma with some choices and some hefty consequences tied to them.  Like income potential or availability to pursue certain dreams.   They are sometimes just off the table and you generally won’t know it unless it is pointed out to you.  They don’t have to hold you back, but they likely will if you aren’t paying attention.

The most important thing I tried to teach my daughter was to own her choices and take accountability for them,  even if no one else demands it.   She has a great sense of honor and justice.  Some would say overdeveloped, but its hard to know when mine is the same way.

I tried to show her what this meant rather than just tell her.  I attempted to act with honor; I did my best and I failed sometimes.   The latter was hopefully as good of a lesson as the former, but only she can tell you that.

Ultimately, we are the sum of the choices we make, whether we are aware of all of them or not.  Many are made for us, by people we hand them over to; parents, employers, spouses, friends and sometimes even criminals.  It is hard to forget when you are faced with the choice of giving in or making a stand that you have a mortgage to pay or a kid in school.

Sometimes it is worth the risk, but many times, it is not.  Remember that most of these times the one forcing a choice from you knows that you have to take a risk and is counting on it influencing your final choice.  Thus, we trap ourselves by the things we buy and the choices we make into giving others our power.

I leave you with this:  The only true power you have in this world is your choice.  

If you saddle yourself with debt to buy that huge house or you have children before finishing college, understand that these things can be used against you to take your choices away.  And most likely, they will. That is the way of the world.

Live free. Choose well. Go forth and do great things.

Walking the Path,

Chris