I was looking for songs to sing for a Christmas show I was asked to perform and came upon this one. I can’t stop crying.  I know I have people who love me and that I have done bad things.  Some on purpose and some not.

What is making the cry so happy and sad is that I prevented someone from having Christmas. There is a family or families that are missing someone they love because of me.

Why so scared that you’ll mess it up? When perfection keeps you haunted.
All we need is your best my love, that’s all anyone ever wanted.

Love is how we do, let no judgment overrule it.
Love I look to you, and I sing.

These are the lyrics that got me crying and made me realize that I won’t get better, but I will learn to handle it. I am handling it, but I now feel I have to sing this song. As painful as it is, it is healing for me. But more importantly, it is a tribute to Mrs. Paule. I am so very sorry for my mistake.

Don’t forget those you miss these holidays, but please, oh please, don’t miss the ones that are here.  If this is their last – or your last – you will regret not letting them in or being angry at them.

I know some people may not seem deserving of it, but many are.  They are largely just fuck-ups like us, really, and will stand outside in the snow watching the party rather than risk the pain of knocking on the door to come fix whatever they broke. Maybe, just maybe, they are worth one more try. Maybe.

Happy Holidays, everyone. May they bring you Love and Healing in the best possible way.

Walking the Path,

Chris