NAMBSAAM

The more I spend time with women folk – not the point, move along – I find that I agree with their assessment of men. 

I can recall moments in life where I acted like men do. I also remember the moments I chose to walk away from each of those behaviors.

I was *taught* those behaviors by men (not my Dad, of course); SA’d by men; bullied, beaten and ostracized by men in various ways. Mostly, because I wasn’t into fighting and being mean to people.

I cannot recall more than a few times I was harmed by woman folk that I hadn’t caused the problem in the first place. It’s rare, in my experience.

I can recall MANY incidents where I was abused by men – and stood there and took it to show I wasn’t running – but I rarely fought back. Some days I would hide near the bus stop and run at the last minute to catch the bus to avoid bullying. I did it often enough that the lady who lived at the house I hid behind would bring me lemonade or cookies and helped me hide.

Until I “got crazy” and fought back in unique ways, I was bullied in some way nearly every day until I moved to Phoenix.  I became a feral animal, a creature forced to fight in a mad society. I spent a lot of time alone, subsequently.

I was once a beautiful, peaceful child until I entered the world of school and encountered male folk on the playground. 

Now, at 58, I can’t trust anyone and I’ve trained in multiple lethal martial arts. I can’t “play” fight anymore – I know I’ll hurt someone as I have several times. I get scared if I start losing and lash out.

But when I started spending time with women folk and began learning what women folk go through? I fucking joined them in being disgusted with men.  

I found out they were far worse than I had thought and I’ve doubled down on pointing out toxic behaviors when I see them, no matter who is saying them.

Fuck the Patriarchy. I’m ready for women to take over and I’ll support them. Let’s change this world to actually be better.

Men: I’m telling you to Do Better. Evaluate your own behaviors honestly and *make changes if needed* and get thee to therapy!

I have and it’s made all the difference in my relationships.

Chris.

One thought on “NAMBSAAM”

  1. I have been bullied by both men and women, but the bullying by men was by far more physical than verbal. I have fought back at times and at times just “took it” and walked away. I am so proud of your progress!

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