I have been studying the principles of Dale Carnegie this week, preparing to be a Graduate Assistant over the next 12 weeks. I have also recently read the Klingon Art of War, a fictional account of the writings of Sun Tzu from a Klingon point of view. In reading these books, an incident at Glitchcon recently came to light and, as my mind excels at, showed me my error and how I could have prevented the incident from exploding as it did.

I cannot likely correct it now, as the actual issue had nothing to do with me. That still remains to be resolved, and will likely remain so for some time, until people can come together and discuss it. That is where my error lies, and that error alone is what I wish to apologize for.

When the issue came to me, it was from a dear friend and my daughter. My bias should have been apparent to me at that time, but it was not. I proceeded under the assumption that I had heard all I needed to and went to confront the other party involved. I did so as quickly as I could, as one does not postpone a matter of honor. It took a few hours for me to actually get to him and I was otherwise occupied at that time. My distraction proved to be an issue, and I proceeded poorly.

I accused and was met with a defensive, justifying stance, as my Carnegie training should have prepared me for. I set the grounds for fixing the matter, and they were absolute. This was, as all absolute solutions go, the wrong thing to do.

Today, I was listening to Principle 3, “If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically,“ and I realized my error. I immediately began to write this apology. All other concerns fell away, as I reviewed the weekend and every interaction I had had with all parties in question, until I found the moment where I had unintentionally escalated the issue.

As the Klingon‘s say, “Choose your enemies well.“ In this case, I did not. Not because I was in any danger of being defeated. To the contrary; I had nothing to lose and he had everything to lose. It was pure arrogance on my part to challenge him at all. Secondly, it was not my fight to engage in. In my eagerness to defend my friends and family, I rushed into battle to take on a foe that I had no business fighting.

The action I should have taken was this, and I still suggest it be taken: The parties involved – and ONLY the parties involved – should privately and personally (over video chat, perhaps) discuss the matter, allowing both points of view to be heard, and then both parties may resolve this matter as mature adults. Had I required such a meeting to take place at the convention, this whole thing would not have escalated to the public. How the two parties would have settled it, I have no idea. Would it have happened the same way had they spoken? Maybe, maybe not.

I prevented such a question from being answered by being accusatory at our first meeting. Everything that happened after that was a direct result of my error. Everything that happened before that moment, I take no responsibility for and leave that to the parties involved to dispute or resolve. I only ask that you work out that resolution privately.

I cannot and do not speak for Glitchcon, its Directors, or affiliates/sponsors. Any decision or action they have or will take is independent of this apology. I was not asked to make this apology; I do so completely of my own accord.

This is solely to apologize for my behavior towards the party involved and to assure that I have absolutely no malice towards anyone involved, nor have I at any point. My sole intention was to resolve the situation in a private, honorable manner and my apology is for making that end goal more difficult with my actions.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.