There is a rule in 5E D&D called Inspiration. In short, it gives you a greater chance of success, and can be given to each other through roleplay and you regain it by playing your character. It promotes teamwork and party success, and is the first actual roleplaying rule in D&D. I love this rule.
As a GM, however, we have no specific rule for us to give similar things to players. We can fudge dice rolls, and move story however we want, so it can be said that we don’t need it.
I disagree.
When the player is about to lose out on something that is big to their story because of a die roll or other stupid sort of circumstance we sometimes feel like we cannot intervene. I mean, the dice have spoken, right? I understand, I have been there. There are many ways to handle this, but I have a suggestion.
What if you suddenly decree, “GM Inspiration!“ You then give them a boon from the GM, in whatever way it matters to move the story forward. Not much, but a clue or a puzzle to figure out that they somehow missed. In their moment of lost hope, they notice something overlooked, and are back on track again.
Fuck The Rules. Just make it Fun, Important and Meaningful because YOU are the Game Master. You already have the power, but this is a fun way to show it to the players.
The really fun question? How do they give it back to you as “Player Inspiration” so YOU can be inspired by them? I will leave this as an exercise for the reader.
You see how this might enhance the fun? You can have multiple player points, or just one that gets moved back and forth. Whatever you want.
I just gave you inspiration, from one GM to another. Use it or not, as you wish. Go forth to adventure, Epic Maker.
I’ve found during my mental health journey over the last 2 decades that I still don’t know what is the right decision or the wrong one. Based on what I know at the time, I take certain paths only to find that I’ve, once again, lost my way.
I try very hard not to hurt anyone with my choices, but it seems that I’m not capable of doing anything without someone paying a price. And that someone is usually not me. Well, not just me.
What’s worse is the ripple effect on that choice. The impact of what we do is almost always larger than we plan for. I’ve learned to minimize most of the damage to just myself where I can. Many times, the impact is beyond my ability to discern.
Clearly, my mental powers need some training.
I’ve been trying to figure out who I am for what seems like an eternity now, and I’m not really any closer than I was before. It seems like I’m doing well, I make a choice that seems like the best for everyone, and I find out I’m wrong.
I’ve realized that I need certain things: physical touch, words of affirmation (sometimes) and novel communication. It’s very hard to attain all three in a relationship, as no one can fulfill all three. This is what first made me understand that I’m polyamorous. Another clue is that I don’t stop loving anyone. Ever.
This means, if I am reminded of someone I once loved, I get to feel it all over again at the same intensity, including the break up. Sometimes these are full on flashbacks and I just break for a minute until I process it.
At this point, everything reminds me of someone I love and it’s maddening. If I hear a certain song, or watch a particular movie, or go to a place where I had an experience with someone, I feel all the emotions associated with that song, movie or place. Some days, I have to isolate myself to keep my sanity. I find that I hit next on many songs on my standard playlist now, as more and more of them remind me of someone I have lost or hurt in my past.
And what’s worse, one memory of a loved one cascades into the next, and I just phase out of existence, lost in the flashbacks. If you’ve ever seen me space out for no obvious reason, it’s likely this is the cause. I am lost in a memory.
I sit now, in a bar, wondering what to do with the rest of my life. I’d prefer to do acting, music or something similar, and I know I have the talent for it. It’s just the confidence to actually do it. I’ve tried writing, but I can’t finish anything. Hell, I have more posts in drafts than I have published.
Still, I haven’t quit yet, and therapy is helping alot. I really hope I get to the point where I am doing Epic and Awesome things. I feel like I am close to a breakthrough, but as usual, the veil is invisible for now. sigh.
For a party with several experienced players that would like a fun challenge.
I use D&D5E rules in these examples for simplicity. Feel free to ask questions, if it doesn’t make sense, but its just easier to describe the progression I am seeking to the largest audience. I am not promoting the game, although it will work with this idea. Feel free to change the trappings, however you want. If this made no sense, good luck with the rest of the blog. 🙂
Here’s the Idea: The party starts with 1 or 2 PCs at 15th level, the Mentors, and the rest at 3rd, the Apprentices. At the end of each scenario the party completes, the Apprentices will gain a level. Thus they will be progressing fast, sometimes several sessions in a row! They MUST participate in all critical encounters for it to matter. If the story progresses because the Apprentices did their part to help the party to succeed, then they gain a level when that progress is evident.
The Mentors, however, only gain levels for every three (3) levels the Apprentices gain until they are level 15. Then, if you are still playing, you can work out something else, ’cause it doesn’t matter at this point. You are having a blast and I want to hear your stories. Find me sometime for a round on me and I will listen to them.
I was inspired with this idea when I recently re-watched the 1978 Bakshi Lord of the Rings, which is my favorite, even though it was unfinished. I wrote this whole thing while watching the movie. I really enjoyed the position that Aragorn was in, as the unknowing Mentor on an Epic Quest. He fully expected to have Gandalf to be the leader of this party, and found himself again and again forced to be Mentor to the Halflings, and eventually King of Gondor. If you focus on it as though Aragorn was the protagonist, it becomes an interesting story. At least for me.
Any way, with players who would appreciatethis kind of play, you will have a great time. Make sure everyone gets to play the part they want. If you want, you can also have everyone make 15th level characters, but only one of them gets to play it at a time. Maybe 2 of them, if the story needs it.
If any Mentor or Apprentice levels, they all do. Meaning, I would keep all Apprentices at the same level, and the same for Mentors, just to make everything equal for everyone to have the same experience. It’s your game, if you think of something better for you, go for it!
Anyone wanna act out Boromir’s Story Arc? Or, more to my liking, Sturm Brightblade? I’m not crying, you’re…Ok, I’m actually crying.
I told you why I got each tattoo, but not why it is was so important that I hardcoded some of my code onto my arms, so I will see it every day for the rest of my life. This is some Oath Level shit to myself. I am scared shitless, but I am now committed.
This picture was perfect in so many ways that I had to use it. A very small number of people are in the center of the Venn Diagram where that makes sense.
You see, I realized shortly before I got the tattoos, but could not verbalize it yet. Now, after having them for a day, I think I can do that.
I realized that the greatest thing I could ever learn, was just to love. And be loved in return.
EDITOR: I am a bit high right now and that song just snuck in. Its not…wrong, but a little dramatic.Sorry for the distraction.
My actual realization was that if I wanted to remain mentally healthy, it would require maintenance. And so, it means that the rest of my life is therapy now. Which means every interaction, every moment I get to spend with someone is important. And if I don’t find the strength to actually love someone without being afraid of it, I will be alone. I must be, for my sake and theirs.
“Nothing is Trivial”, said the Crow.
Sorry, I have a flair for that. Anywaaaaaaay…
I now will start to enjoy my life, as I have deprived myself of acceptance for the moments when I was happy for the last few decades. I never felt I deserved it, not ever. I have now hated myself so long, that I had forgotten how to let myself be happy. The accident made it worse, but it wasn’t the real problem.
I literally had to write shit on my skin to start healing, so that I would feel the pain long enough to just fucking let it go. The only way I was getting out of this was with pain, the same way I got in. Blood calls out for Blood, as Londo once lectured.
But, that is too dark and cryptic for even me to really want to understand right now, so I will spare you.
I turned in my Holter monitor and the Cologuard thing I was putting off until I had to go out for something else. Its just how my brain works, ok? Anyway, I got dressed and headed out to the UPS Store and on the way, began planning my route.
After UPS, I realized I was just driving around, avoiding coming home for some reason. I had several errands to run, but I didn’t need most of them to be done. I could just go home. But I just didn’t wanna go home yet. So, I just embraced the idea of just getting as much done as I could of all the outstanding things that needed done and kept driving. When I was done doing errands, I would reward myself.
I started getting inventive, as I no longer had and agenda. I moved away from my standard method of analyzing my route as precise as possible, ensuring the least amount of effort. Instead, I decided to attempt a hunt for the Giving Pump at Shell. Its a pump that they donate a portion of the sales of to Charity. But, they only have a few and they are not easily found when you are trying not to use your phone in the car and it stopped being fun rather quickly. I will research that one better and try again later.
I hit some stores to pick up some very specific items when I drove by Ink Therapy Tattoo a second time. I am not a mystical man, in that I believe in other worldly beings and such, but I am a 5 year old. I decided to stop in.
As I entered and was waiting to speak to someone, I posted on Facebook:
This is what happened.
Jack came to see me and asked what I wanted. I explained that I wanted a consult. After a bit of conversation, he decided he was willing to see me today. We agreed on a price and I waited again for him to draw up my tattoos. Once we had collaborated on the idea, we went back to the chair and got started.
I got two tattoos. One on each arm. They are:
The left was a phrase I learned from a dear friend, but with a funny twist, as he always did. Something about Playing Chops and carry tunes? I can’t remember anymore, but that conversation had weight and has been one of several methods to keep it all going. Joe, I will never forget your friendship and your counsel. I could have used it alot over the last 8 years, but I know you would have stayed if you could. Everyone that knew you missed you. And so, you are on my left arm, so that I will never forget you.
On the right, I was inspired by Sam Wilson, the Falcon. He was conversing with Bucky Barnes in the Falcon and Winter Soldier series, and the moment if the show resonated with me and started me on my current path. I was already walking it, but I wasn’t truly committed to it. The following is a spoiler from the show explaining it.
Do The Work
Bucky was being whiney about his trauma, and Sam had clearly had enough. He said, “Are you ready for some tough love?”
Bucky nodded.
“If you want to get through your trauma, then you need to Do The Work.”
I am paraphrasing, but you get the point. It is a phrase that I can’t get out of my head and it has guided me forward as I continue my journey.
I came home soon after that, had dinner with Jessie and then went to my room to play games. I made really good progress on Horizon Zero Dawn. The story is engaging and he characters are fun. The graphics are beautiful.
Oh, and I wrote this. 🙂
Anyway, thanks for listening. As I said, it was a good day.
I am officially out of spoons and am focused on recharging. As usual, it is complicated enough that I have no one to talk about it to but my therapist. /sigh
Without any warnings that I picked up on, my brain turned on the Empty light and I suddenly thought, “Fuck Societal Standards!” That led to “Fuck Capitalism!” and then “Fuck Male Toxicity!” and also “Fuck Greed!“
This spiraled to the point I am at now, which can be summed up as, “Fuck Everything.” I will let you know when I am back from this dark fucking place.
And, No Thank You, I don’t need anything from anyone. I appreciate the thought. I can deal with this.
Also? If anyone knows where I can swap it out, I want a new brain.
Any way, have a nice day, y’all. Try to be better today, than yesterday. That’s all I got for you.
In this one of many possible worlds All for the best or some bizarre test? It is what it is and whatever Time is still the infinite jest
We all knew this was coming. I waited long enough, so folks knew I put up a fight. I tried to live here, and it’s nearly killed me. I’m am filled with regret as I depart Arkansas for Arizona. Not because I’m leaving – that was inevitable – but because I’m leaving with so little and so much later than I expected.
I’ve lost everything I’ve worked for multiple times in the last 23 years, and I’m now fleeing the state, unemployed and broken. My heart, my mind, my body; all broken.
I wasn’t broken enough legally or socially to be allowed to stop and recover, though, and to get some rest without breaking completely. Nope, I had to straight up lose my job and not look for another to clear my head and start getting my mind right again.
Healthcare in this country is the worst. Vote!
So, I am off to Arizona to try my luck at living in the SunSunNot IN the Sun, of course, just one of the hottest places I could find on the planet for now. again.
I’m not sure what the next chapter is, but I’m burned out on IT. I’m sure I’ll use computers and such, maybe even script a bit for optimum lazinessoptimum lazinessThis is just writing programs to automate or monitor repetitive tasks so you can do something else instead, like sleep., but I don’t want IT to be my focus anymore.
I really want to fix myself enough to be me, again. The guy who wanted to sing, practice martial arts, and laugh and drink in a carefree way.
A me that can help people again.
A me that can read and write what’s on my mind.
An expressive me, that shows people exactly what I’m thinking.
To finally, be done with the grifter I was forced to be and back to the ex-paladin monk bard that I should be. I mean, I wanna play that character and I actually can, if I want.
Yeeeeeeeeaaaahhhhh!
Is that impossible as an adult? I don’t think so. And I’m working towards it. I might get there before I am recycled, and I will undoubtedly tell you about it, if I do. Call this, my Kobayashi Maru, and I plan to KirkKirkKirk reprogrammed the test when he took it, after failing it several times. His motto was 'I don't believe in no-win scenarios' it up as much as I can, but in a Jadzia Dax Jadzia DaxThis comment is too much to unpack. If you get it, you get it. Sorry. style. As much as my age and disability will allow, of course.
If that sounds appealing, becoming our ideal selves, I cannot see what is stopping us except us not willing to try anymore because the RWMRWMRich White Men system has emotionally crushed uscrushed usbad healthcare, shitty wages, no real rights at work, disabilities make you unable to get by without someone supporting you, etc..
So, if you are hearing about my move at this writing, you’ve missed your chance to say goodbye in person. I apologize for this, but it cannot be helped. I’m either gone or so far into the process that I can’t stop nowcan't stop nowThe pandemic has made me take additional precautions, including periods of self-quarantining to ensure the new cootie pool isn't adversely affected.. You won’t get through to me while I’m on the task of reducing my life down to a truckload for transport across the country. During a pandemic. While unemployed.
I didn’t say I was smart.
But, for the first time in my life, I am thinking long term. In order to get my self well again, I have to go. If I stay, I will die here, in all of its forms. This is a moral imperative.
First and formost, if I spend the next month with goodbye parties and meeting for lunch with anyone, I risk my life and those I will be living with in Arizona, my new Cootie PoolCootie Poolthe folks you are quarantining with and are comfortable with no masks or precautions. First said by The Legend, Jessie Foster, and thus became official..
Second, I barely have time to get this shit done, as it is. If I stop to say goodbye, then I won’t make it out of here. I will miss y’all alot and if you want to wait for a response, I will reconnect when I am settled.
Lastly, VOTE. I delayed as long as I could to make sure I was able to vote in this election. It matters. PLEASE DO IT.
Anyway, I won’t be visible in NWA anymore but I’ll still be out there. You can reach out to me through normal channels or at my websitemy websitehttps://chriscolbath.com, which also has my resume in case someone has a sweet gig designed just for me.
No? Oh well. You get nothing without trying too. Always worth it, no matter what Yoda says.
If you have another means to contact me, you’re free to try. I am focused and cannot guarantee a timely response, but I’ll get back to you as quick as spoons and duties will allow.
Thanks for all you’ve done for me over the years. Everyone I’ve known here in NWA has given me something that made me better, even if our experience was small or even negative. I remember having a lot of fun here, amidst the backdrop of trauma and work, and I will never forget the Land where I was once known as Rockstar.
See y’all later, Arkansas! It has been a pleasure.
Ok. I am on my way, Arizona, but don’t get too excited yet. I am not compromising my cootie pool(s) for anyone else, so it may be awhile before we see each other in person. I will not bend on this rule. Understand that I take my friend’s health seriously, even if they don’t. That’s on them, but I won’t see anyone that whines about it or doesn’t wear a mask.
I finished a neat, well written rant about this (that I just deleted), so I will spare you. Please understand that it was concise, direct and absolutely offensive to some. I reserve the right to rant later, as needed.Please wear a mask.
Well, I suppose that’s enough. Don’t expect most people have even read this far, so now I am just fuckin’ around. With that in mind, I guess I will leave you with this final thought… No, I’ll let Bilbo tell you:
…and finally, he said, I wish to make an ANNOUNCEMENT. He spoke this last word so loudly and suddenly that everyone sat up who still could. I regret to announce that — though, as I said, eleventy-one years is far too short a time to spend among you — this is the END. I am going. I am leaving NOW. GOOD-BYE!
This song from this movie hits me. I am not 100% sure it is even possible to do it, but I know I want to change. I recommend listening to the song while you read this, if you can.
I have had my brain re-programmed against my will, as if ransomware took over processing and said, “The price is more than you will give.”
Everyone knows where my life went south. Since then, I have been continuously failing at everything I do. Father, Lover, Worker, just everything. I am just fucking lost and the path is dark ahead.
Still, I watch something like this and the fire is lit again, for just a moment. When they perform on stage, I remember the feeling of singing in front of many people. I have had the privilege of singing in front of large and small audiences – I think my largest is about 3000 at a company event – and I absolutely ate it up.
There is no high like singing for me. The excitement, the fear, the orgasmic delight of entertaining other people is just the highest I think I have ever felt. Granted some of the performances, I actually was high or drunk, but most of them I wasn’t because they were at work.
I have been in quartets, rock bands, sung karaoke, and just in the shower. When I feel low, the urge to sing just hits me.
I officiated a wedding recently, and it always requires me to reflect on my own life and experience with life. Let me start by saying I am not unhappy with the life I lead, at least not more than one would expect living in a Corporate capitalist society, right?
To distract from the nervousness I feel about officiating weddings, I will unerringly start to reflect on my own failed marriage, and all the failed relationships I have been in — and those that I wished I had been in. It inevitably leaves me with pain and sadness. Even though the relationship I am in is the best I have ever had.
This, in turn, leads to listening to sad songs and/or watching sad movies or TV. This time it led me to watching an episode of The Orville, “Lasting Impressions,” in which Gordon falls in love with a simulation he created from a cell phone left in a time capsule.
There are spoilers forthcoming. It is necessary to illustrate what I am feeling at this time. I recommend either 1) go watch the episode, or 2) stop reading now. 🙂
I don’t have a ton of capacity to stop myself from feeling emotions – I never really have. They come, I experience them as near 100% as I can, and then they go. Sometimes, I really don’t want to experience them, but here comes the E-Train any way, so I get to choose to be run over or get off the tracks. Most often, its the former, as I struggle with depression.
But sometimes, once in a while, y’all get the privilege of seeing what I am feeling on the page as I record it for posterity. The words just come out and I can stop them or write them down. I am told it is good for me to do this, and I do when I can manage to get off the tracks early enough to sit and watch the train go by more relaxed. Here is that vision.
I started singing along to a song that I really like and I could hear the train a comin’ ’round the bend. I stopped working on the wedding script and just listened for a moment, enjoying the beauty in his voice, the simplicity of the music.
I began to cry.
I realized, that I wasn’t going to get any more done for the moment until I processed these emotions, so I went full on into them. I pulled up the Episode of the Orville I mentioned and watched it all the way through.
More crying.
I found the video of just the song that someone had cut together from the earlier and later performances in the show so that I could just get lost in it for a moment. I recommend you do the same. I’ll wait.
That’s all I’ve got to say
NOTE: I managed to NOT watch The Last Unicorn after this, which I think is a personal accomplishment.
So, there I was, no longer crying, but completely full of feels. I was not doing anything; I was fully into that moment of doing nothing but hearing, seeing, feeling everything that was going on.
Although I was sad, I was also at peace, which is a rare thing. I found myself smiling.
And then I remembered the most important moment from the show and decided to share that with you.
“People have been living and dying for as long as humans have existed. Most are forgotten. But not this one. This one reached across four centuries and made a guy fall in love.
We should all be so rare.”
Commander Grayson, The Orville, “Lasting Impressions”
I don’t expect anyone to understand why it meant so much to me, as it was my moment. My enlightenment, as it were. But for that moment, I was ok. For just a moment.
I believe we are all capable of this peace, but it may require learning to see the train coming, jumping off the tracks, and just enjoying the rush of feeling as it zooms by. That is what therapy (and medications) can help with.
Everyone is different in how they get to peace, but we are all capable of it if we can get help. I did, and I am slowly coming back from the edge.
I hope this sparks something good in everyone that managed to read this far.
Anyway, I love you. That’s all I have to tell you.
I see being a game master as very similar to the path that Neo took in the Matrix. He started on the top of his game (pardon the pun) and eventually learned that his reality was a lie.
Morpheus tried to “wake him up” multiple times, starting with the Jump Program.
As Cipher mentioned, however, “everyone falls the first time.” Neo was not an exception to this. He began getting better when they started loading programs into his brain, as he finally felt like he knew something.
“I know Kung Fu.”
Neo
Morpheus knew better and responded:
As much as I want to just watch that scene again and again, I will summarize and get the point of this post.
Being a game master (or GM) is a responsibility that many don’t understand when they start, myself included. It takes many games (and many mistakes) to learn the one truth of being a GM:
We are all here to play a game together and have fun.
It took several things to show this to me. The most important was that *I* was not having fun, as I felt that this wasn’t my role. I had a job to do and that was run the game for the players and make it fun for them. This let to me wanting to quit, feeling like I was never good enough, or worrying too much about balancing out the game. No effort was put into my enjoyment during the game, as noone was really concerned with it.
Which meant everyone had less fun.
Please don’t read this the wrong way. I love running games more than playing in them now, but back then, my mind was clouded by my own limitations. I was dealing with the Morpheus in my head, while I was learning to be “the One.”
Then one day, it happened.
I was running a game and I stopped caring about the prep, the rules, the system at all and just let things happen. I think I was just tired or not feeling well, but I just gave up on systems.
All of the same things were happening in the game, meaning the players rolled their dice, calculated damage, etc, but *I* stopped all that bookkeeping and focused on when things should happen to move the story forward.
When the player got a really good roll for a character, you could see in their eyes that they felt awesome. So, I simply stepped out of the way and let them.
Listen to that again: I let them be awesome.
Who really cares when the antagonist is defeated as long as it is awesome when they are? Like on TV or in the movies, they are done when it is best for the story.
From that moment onward, my prep for games became all about learning ways to streamline the systems I was forced to use *cough* d20 *cough* and slowly gained reputation among my friends as a homebrewer extreme. It was once said to someone about my game, “Oh, we play D&D in name only, as our GM homebrews the shit out of it.”
I am talking about high levels, improvisational magic, and fast and furious combat, as much as I could. I wanted the game to be exciting, not a math exercise, unless that is what a player wanted. Every action should matter, as much as possible, in every scene.
I wish I could point to one particular thing that made this mental shift occur, but I cannot. I can point to many small examples that prepared me for epiphany, both as a player and a GM, in and out of games, but there is no recipe for enlightenment.
Chop Wood, Carry Water, as it is said.
The reason I am writing this is to help GM’s find this moment in their own games. It may not happen for everyone, and maybe this will be a completely unique experience for my only, but I don’t think so.
I will leave you with this final thought. Remember that as much as it is your role to provide entertainment to the players, it is also your role (and theirs) to ensure you are having fun as well. As they say in Dungeon World, be a fan of your players.
